Careful folks, arm slings are probably going to be in short supply around Sanford for the next several days. There has been so much backslapping and arm-twisting over the school budget request debates that there just can be no way the pharmacies could have possibly kept up with demand.
The taxpayers in Lee County may never really know who the arm-twisters were, but there is little doubt which commissioners got their arms twisted. It’s also readily apparent which ones injured themselves by way of their own self-inflicted shoulder manipulations. At least one of them appears to have spent time publicly patting himself on the back with one arm even as he was having the other one twisted behind the scenes. Then there is the one who is so double shoulder jointed that he can twist as he is being twisted.
For the commissioners who allowed their arms to be twisted into supporting unsubstantiated, and probably unjustified spending, wear your slings in shame. Principled men you are not. When you stood in the arena of public scrutiny, you did not fight the good battle. You didn’t stand for any worthwhile or noble cause. You did not walk the difficult path demanded of you by your oath of office, and the trust the public placed in you. Instead you chose an easier, if ignoble route. May the ache you should be feeling in your shoulders linger for many months and cause you to lose sleep with each passing night. May each twinge you feel when your former arm-twisters pat you on your back and tell you how good a job you did with the budget. Let each twinge remind you of the principles you once thought you had.
For the commissioners who should have developed their respective shoulder aches from all their public and private self-congratulations, wear your slings in shame as well. But your shame is the shame of having no shame, of having no principles. You see, you were never really worthy of being in the arena with principled men in the first place. You pat yourself on the back and crow publicly because no one extols your virtues for you, as you have none. You mouthed the words of your office, without meaning them. To you, all things are relative and for the moment at hand. You hope the public has a short attentions span and a shorter memory. Let your shoulder ache be a constant reminder to you, of what you could have been, had you had principles or had you stood by the ones you should have had.
Regardless, there will be a shortage of slings here in Lee County for the foreseeable future. It may even get worse. The pungent wintergreen smell of liniment will waft through the Lee County Government building for months to come even after this budget debate fades in feebler minds. If you happen to smell wintergreen, or see a commissioner sporting a sling, ask him if his injuries were self-inflicted.